Nov 28
You’re a child. You have friends, you have school, you have family. Life’s simple and all you do is glide through it, gathering the pieces of your life of tomorrow.
You’re an adult. You have friends, you have loves, you have family. You’re reaping what you’ve sown as a young one, enjoying the relationships that form the canvas of your life. Then something changes and every certitude you had flies out the window like a turtledove being let out of its cage.
Watch out for the eagles, little dove, you’re not used to being in the big open spaces.
Right now, I’m sitting in front of my computer, with work files open. Am I think about my latest technical specifications that I have to deliver next week? Nope. I’m thinking about the most recent developments in my life. Those that make me upset and those that soothe me.
I’m nursing a broken heart -although why or how it was broken remains yet to be seen, as I don’t remember a whole lot about it-, broken hopes -why I chose to trust someone to build the final step to my world is beyond me- and the sadness of seeing someone leave for a while. Right now, I’ve said everything that needed said, glossed over certain facts with certain people and don’t want to talk anymore.
On Sunday, I crossed familiar paths under the snow as it fell. It made me feel icy but so calm, as the cold fingers of the sky were brushing against my face. Then Monday, the turmoil started again and swept me away in a roar of thunder and fire.
All I want is the silence of falling snow.
Nov 12
It’s been a while… Things haven’t been going according to plan, I’m afraid.
You see, there’s nothing I like more than having a plan. I usually have a plan A and a plan B. Right now, I’ve run through the alphabet on plans to improve my life. I have a little problem, as it were.
If food and I were to have a Facebook relationship, it would be It’s complicated. When things go bad, I tend to stick my head in the sand fridge and gorge. Right now, things are disgustingly bad and I’ve been feeling disturbingly hungry as of late. Urgh. How am I expected to fit into The Dress if I am, at the same time, having fries for lunch and crème brûlée three times a week? Hmm?
Right. If only features much in my current thoughts. If only I had been a little more careful about people, if only I had paid a little more attention in school. If only I hadn’t picked a job which sounded like a good idea. If only the people I trust with my professional life actually took me seriously. If only I hadn’t flown to the other side of the world on a whim last year.
So what do I do now? Beats me. I’m leaving myself until Christmas to try and fix things here. Probably another plane ticket in my future. Sans return date.
Oct 19
It’s 11pm and my friends (Jaina and her boyfriend, Giraffe and her boyfriend, setunado) after spending 3 days cleaning the apartment and basement. We managed to fill the Sharan TWICE with shit… Twice.
A quick summary of things we found down there:
- Food from the 80s
- Saranwrap from the 80s
- Old magazines from 85
- Disgusting earth
- Old cobwebs
On Saturday morning, Giraffe and I went to Ikea. 275 euros later, I had two new CD/DVD shelves, a storage unit for the basement, clear plastic boxes for storage, new lamp, new curtains… It was great. Then we went downstairs to clean the basement, which took an age. There was so much shit from when we moved from England, then when we moved back from America. It’s insane what my mother brought back! Old junk that no sane person would have brought back.
We manage to fill up the entire courtyard with stuff and all the neighbours came around to see what the hell was going on. Nosy bastards were probably wondering if I was (finally) moving out. Hah, fat chance. Now it’s gonna be non-stop partying til the wee hours of the morning at mine.
Now, the fridge has taken its rightful place in the kitchen (easy, once you remove the kitchen door before moving fridge), I’ve thrown out enough stuff to last me two or three lifetimes and have a clean, clean, CLEAN kitchen.
Today, the day ended with burgers (homemade, my secret recipe), fries and beers.
So big thanks to the 5 of them, I couldn’t have made it without them.
Apr 10
Slate informs me that it’s national siblings day. So not that it matters in any way, here are my “siblings”.
Exar: my twin. Need I say more? Things tend to go in pair (or is it pear-shaped) for us. Gets me in trouble like only a sibling could. Similar parental units. We share things like siblings do. Good thing we aren’t blood relatives or the world might burn. Given our current tendencies, it might burn regardless. We can burn the phone lines up already.
Slick: the reasonable older brother. I used to resent him for stuff he’d done to get parental attention, then got over it. Wouldn’t trade him for the world. But I could do without correcting his essays, sometimes 
Cal: Could count as my older yet not so much wiser sister (ahem, burning kitchen anyone? ). Met her a year ago and what a fun year it has been. This shining beacon of motherhood is definitely my hero.
And my real sibling, K: it’s nice to know you. Despite being chronically blasé at the world, I am looking forward to your summer visit.
To the lot of you I haven’t mentionned? Well, still love ya.
Recent Comments